When a disagreement starts, our first instinct is often to dig in our heels. We think the problem is the other person, the situation, or the topic itself. But often, the real source of the fight is our own desire to win. We want to be right. We want to be in control. When that desire takes over, a simple disagreement can turn into a full-blown battle, and we end up causing more damage.
But what if there’s a different way? Two ancient stories offer a powerful blueprint for handling conflict with wisdom and strength.
The first story is about a leader named Abraham. He and his nephew, Lot, had a problem. Their teams and resources had grown so large that they were running out of space, and their workers started fighting over land and water. As the senior leader, Abraham had every right to claim the best land for himself. Instead, he went to Lot with a humble offer.
“Let’s not have any quarreling,” he said. “The whole land is before you. You choose first. If you go left, I’ll go right. If you go right, I’ll go left.”
In one simple, generous act, Abraham ended the conflict. He valued his relationship with his nephew more than his “right” to the best property. He chose peace, trusting that there would be enough for him.
Years later, Abraham’s son, Isaac, faced a similar issue, but this time with hostile neighbors. His team would dig a well, and as soon as they found water, a rival group would come and claim it as their own. Instead of escalating the fight, Isaac simply moved on and dug another well.
Then it happened again. The rivals quarreled over the new well, too. And again, Isaac chose not to fight. He moved his team again and dug a third well. This time, no one fought him. He called the place “Rehoboth,” which means “open space,” because he finally had room to flourish in peace.
Isaac’s response wasn’t weakness; it was a powerful kind of strength. He refused to let his enemies set the rules of engagement. He was patient and persistent, and he believed that his success didn’t depend on winning one specific fight. He was willing to walk away from a battle to win the war for his own peace.
These stories teach us two profound lessons:
- Choose relationships over being right, like Abraham.
- Choose peace over protest, like Isaac.
Both men operated with confidence that their well-being didn’t depend on winning that single argument or that specific piece of land. They knew that giving up something small was a tiny price to pay for long-term peace and blessing.
The next time you feel a conflict brewing, ask yourself: What’s more important right now? Winning this argument, or protecting my peace? You might find that the wisest move isn’t to fight harder, but to follow their example of humility and patience.
Next: Strategic Prevention of Conflict
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